| Description |
1 online resource (307 pages) |
| Contents |
Cover; Half Title; Title Page; Copyright Page; Dedication; Table of Contents; Acknowledgments; Introduction; Who Could Benefit from This Book; Value-Free Descriptions of Human Behavior Do Not Exist; What I Do Not Address in This Book; The Term ""Gay Community""; How to Use, and How Not to Use, This Book; Chapter Outline; Ambivalence and Uncoupling; Couples Therapy and Staying Together; Homophobia and (I'm Not Paranoid) Our Enemies; Chapter 1. Lovesick; Chapter 2. Reinventing Your Life: Making the Decision to Leave Him; Resistance to Letting Go; Confusion from the Start; A Change in Needs |
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Separation/Individuation versus MergingLoving a Fantasy; Trust; What Love Can't Do; Friends Before Lovers; Denial; Chemicals and Physical Violence; Never Forgiven; Power and Control; Jealousy; Dysfunctional Needs; Self-Image and Second-Class Relationship; Obligation versus Desire; The Opposite of Emotional Support; Sex; The One-Person Relationship; Putting It Together; Chapter 3. How to Break Up Like a Grown-Up: Healthy Ways of Saying Good-Bye; The Breakup Fight; Breaking Up Is Your Decision; Acceptance; Anger and Punishment; Where and How to Do It: Practical Considerations |
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Crying and Manipulation and Forgetting the Whole ThingDrinking, Other Chemicals, and Your Physical Stamina; Violence; What and What Not to Say; Moving Out; Getting Your Stuff Back; A Word on Behavior and Thoughts and Feelings; Now That You Are Single; Chapter 4. A Time of Pain: Dealing with the Emotional Aftermath of a Gay Divorce; Abrupt Loss and Sadness; Depression Is Not Sadness; Identity Disruption; Confusion and Unreality; Disappointment; Failure and Homophobic Failure Messages; Chapter 5. You No Longer Live Here: Social and Other Life Changes of Breaking Up |
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Running into Your Ex on the Street and in Other PlacesExplaining Your New Status to the World; Relationship Secrets Becoming Public; Unsolicited and Solicited Information About Him; What Happens to His Friends and You?; What About Your Friends and Him?; The Ex, Friends, and Sex: Can Your Friends Now Date Your Ex?; Your Free Time: Anxiety and New Activities; Chapter 6. Creating the Ex-Relationship: Developing the Kind of Contact You Want; Contacting Him; Your First Meeting Together; Your New Association; What If You Have No Interest in Ever Seeing Him Again? |
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When You Should Have Nothing to Do with Him AgainReasons You Want to See Him; In Summary; Chapter 7. Remembering the Misery: Why You Shouldn't Go Back; Self-Esteem Issues; Remembering the Misery (Emotionally); How Do You Rate Your Current Life?; A Unilateral Decision Again; If the Future Is Without Him; Chapter 8. Alone Again: Facing the Difficulties, Appreciating the Benefits; Growing Up; The Real Lousy Parts of Being Without a Lover; The Need to Connect; Being in Love Again; The Benefits of Being Alone; Reevaluating Your Life: A Time for Major Life Change; Dating: Fun with a Purpose |
| Summary |
When It's Time to Leave Your Lover: A Guide for Gay Men is for people who need help ending a gay male relationship that is no longer viable or for friends and family who want to support a gay man experiencing a breakup. This book provides tips on how to successfully cope with the post-breakup period and how to grow emotionally from the experience. You will discover how to tell a lover good-bye while learning about the psychological and social changes to be anticipated in this situation. When It's Time to Leave Your Lover gives you helpful, practical advice on how to cope with ending a |
| Notes |
Chapter 9. How to Say No to the Rebound Trap: Taking a Relationship Vacation |
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Print version record |
| Form |
Electronic book
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| ISBN |
9781317790198 |
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1317790197 |
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