A hungry childhood -- Returning home -- Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn -- Monster in the family -- Father's day -- Missing mommy -- A communist among us -- The trouble with puberty -- Tragedies -- On my own -- Losing it -- Hollywood, California -- What goes down must come up -- Manorexic -- New York -- Location, location, location -- Dating for doughnuts -- Resistance is futile -- Giving up the fight -- The inward journey -- On solid ground
Summary
Describing her struggle as a black woman with an eating disorder that is consistently portrayed as a white woman's problem, this insightful and moving narrative traces the background and factors that caused her bulimia. Moving coast to coast, she tries to escape her self-hatred and obsession by never slowing down, unaware that she is caught in downward spiral emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Finally she can no longer deny that she will die if she doesn't get help, overcome her shame, and conquer her addiction. But seeking help only reinforces her negative self-image, and she discovers her race makes her an oddity in the all-white programs for eating disorders. This memoir of her experiences answers many questions about why black women often do not seek traditional therapy for emotional problems
