1. Zero tolerance of war, weapon and superhero play: where does it come from and why do we do it? -- 2. Boys will be boys and girls will sit nicely -- 3. The power of imagination -- 4. Relaxing zero tolerance: the experience of one setting -- 5. The bigger picture: a summary of findings from 13 early childhood settings where zero tolerance has been relaxed -- 6. War, weapon and superhero play: what does it look like? -- 7. Conclusion